Sgt. St. James Davis, Reporting For Duty, Sir

I personally disagree with Mr. Anuj Dayal.

There are never, EVER, too many monkeys.

(Just not enough barrels.)

I think trains in the U.S. should increase their monkey/human ratios by 100%.

Here is my entry. (I hope I win!)

MOTLEY CRUE - TEN SECONDS TO LOVE
(what is Tommy doing to Mick?)

[Verse:]
Touch my gun
But don't pull my trigger
Let's make history
In the elevator
Or lock the door
Shine my pistol some more
Here I cum
Just ten seconds more

[Chorus:]

Reach down low
Slide it in real slow
I wanna hear your engine roar
Before I'm in the door

My official submission for Frink's contest: Candy Pants

"Girl, I can imagine that you are oh - so very sweet. I wouldn't even give you a chance to take off your pants. I'd eat the seat. Hey Candy Pants, let's climb the ladder of romance."

Monday Morning Contest

I was going thru some old tapes of mine the other day and I ran across a gem. When I held the tape in my hand, I was instantly taken back 20 years and started remembering the good ol days. It was at that same moment, that I realized that this very tape could possibly have the worst lyric inside.

"I want to put my log in your fireplace."

KISS - "Burn Bitch Burn"
Animalized

That lyric swims in sexual retardation...

Can anyone top that?

Does Anybody See The Irony In This?

I wonder what this guy is asking for during this prayer session? Seems a bit odd to me, but then again, I'm not guided by a religion at the moment so what do I know? Chebo was an alter boy, bet he can help out here.

At any rate, permit me to throw this as an option:

Dear God,

Since I was told by somebody else that you like our religion the best, will you please drop these bombs on the others even though, if you think about it, since you can do no wrong, you did screw up and created some "bad" people. Not saying that you screwed up, because that would be wrong, so I guess we'll say that Satan did it instead. Ah, that's it, they're evil doers.

OK, let's try it again, put hands together and...

Dear God,

Help guide the sacred payload to bomb the shit out of the evil doers in the name of you. Yeah, that makes it much more tolerable for me to sleep at night...

Thanx!