Anybody got some tweezers? How about a friggin weedeater?

"Talk To My Ass"

Please, God, Please! Strike this man down...

Somebody Shot Twinkle!

Warning - the above link has been associated with increased levels of "Dang!"
I sincerely wish I was only making this shit up. Not only is it absolutely true, it's on the FRONT PAGE of the Journal-Gazette this morning. Speaking of, this link will probably only be good for a couple of days before they archive it and shake you down for cash.
Okay, see you in another month or so! Hugs! Ciao!

Begin Smiling

Glitter Alert: Hard Time

I think this will be the last sighting of this guy for about 3 years.

Worst Video Ever

I wish Dave would do this.....forever.

Wanna spice up your next birthday party?

PRESS RELEASE:

DAVID LEE ROTH -

AVAILABLE FOR PARTIES, BAR MITZVAHS, ANNIVERSARIES AND BACHELORETTE (AND BACHELOR) PARTIES.

MAKE YOUR PARTY THE HIT OF ALL PARTIES BY ENJOYING THE FORMER WILD MAN AS HE CASCADES THROUGH VAN HALEN HITS AND RELIVES THE OLD DAYS.

MR. ROTH IS ALSO EXCEPTIONALLY TALENTED AT BALLOON ANIMALS AND HAS THE PROPER PERMITS FOR A SMALL TRAVELING PETTING ZOO.

COMING SOON...FOR YOUR ADULT COMEDY ENTERTAINMENT, EDDIE THE DRUNKEN CLOWN!!! DETAILS TO FOLLOW>>>

YOUR SUMMER ROTH REPORT....

I know who we are going to hire for this summer's block party!!! My favorite part is when he pretends like he is driving during the mandolin solo. I am thinking he will great next to the face painters and dunk tank.

Am I Wrong On Garfield?

Now I know that this is my second post on Garfield in a week, but this is getting under my skin. Why is there a movie for this cat? It's not funny. Think back, have you ever laughed at a Garfield comic? HA, a cat that likes lasagna, BRILLIANT! Where do the writers (I assume multiple as you can't ask just one person to continue to create such comedy) come up with this stuff?

No shit, this is today's comic strip, how is this funny, how can this go on, who is buying this shit?


Next step, a rally against Garfield...

I Know What You Were Asking: "Where's Daryl Hannah?"

Well buddy, you're in luck. She is busy as ever these days...

I can hear her agent now:

"Look Daryl, you haven't done shit in a few years and you want to get some press, right? Well, I don't have much to work with...AH! I've got it! Do you like farms? Ah, it doesn't matter, here's what I need you to do..."

OK, Bill Murray, What Gives?

I'm afraid this will count against you...

This Is Real

One of the sites I read has Dear Abby on it and I normally pay no attention, but this question facinated me:

DEAR ABBY: I have reason to believe that a young man in my family may be gay. (He is 15.) I have been thinking a lot about it lately, and have been wondering if circumcision would cure it. What do you think? -- GRANDMOTHER IN MISSOURI

What's funny is this lady says "I have been thinking a lot about it lately" and all she came up with is cutting up his dick.

The Frogs said it best "Grandma in the corner with a dildo in her hand saying "no, no, no, no, no"

And Not A Moment Too Soon

Mullets are funny

Kill 'Em All!!!!!!

Head banging and the short lived trend of knee scraping. RAWK!

For Those who don't believe in Karma....

I Guess God Wanted To Talk To Him "face to face"

OH NO......NOT MANILOW !

They should try some "Men at Work". They've been driving people away for years.

Better yet, WHO FUCKING CARES? These are kids doing the same shit kids have been doing for 50 years. Kids, cars and music, I don't think Barry Fucking Manilow is going to change that. If he dose and Australia gets some credit for this working, life as we know it will change FOREVER!

Take this quatrain from Nostradamus:

"In a land under the Earth
a man who is low will rein."

Look it up dude, it's true.

So we have two options:

1.) Kill Barry Manilow
2.) Blow up Australia

In true man fashion, I will not be responsible for either since I came up with the idea. So get to work people, we don't have much time.

Say What?

Me thinks Mr. Copperfield is hitting the sauce again.

This Weeks: Good People Award

Jeffrey C. Anderson, 55, was charged with carrying a concealed firearm Monday after he brandished the flare gun, which was under a skirt he was wearing, Key West police spokeswoman Christie Phillips said.

Enough said!