OK, Let Me Get This Straight

Did the folks in management and product development think, "Hmmmm, the show sucks now, but how can we increase the suckiness by 65% and raise the annoyance by 200%?"

Word To Your Mutha

Yo! It used to be about gang on gang violence and livin' hard on the streets. Pimpin', Ho'in, busting caps in drug dealla's perpetrating in your hood.

But now...

Fighting because they weren't allowed into the first class lounge at an airport (cough)

Keepin' it real YO! Life is hard! Gansta's Life!

Next, Snoop and "posse" are going to ruff up some kids at the food court.

WORD BOiiiiiiiiiYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Lois Lame

"Call it reverse pick pocketing."

The guy foiled teenage robbers, dated Claudia Schiffer AND made The Statue Of Liberty disappear but as soon as he opens his mouth all you can smell is asshole....

Chebo, I Know You Just Finished The Book, Please Give Me Your Take

It's so obvious!

Wookin' P'nub...

Gee whiz, I sure am glad I graduated long before the rash of stripper-hot teachers going ape shit for pubescent wee-wee.

Maybe I can go back to school as a undercover cop or investigative reporter or something. Don't blow my cover, assholes.

A NEW SECURITY TRAINING TACTIC!

New research and technology suggests this is a way to truly keep your home safe!

Um, Just Click Here

K-FED UPDATE

"I ain't gettin' no divorce. F**k that! I don't believe in that s**t.”

Spoken like a true poet.

There is a reason the media keeps following this guy, he has such strong morals and such primitive verbal skills. In the sewer of celebrity he is a shining light, an inspiration.

Barney Fife Is On The Case

EWING, N.J. - "Searchers at a Pennsylvania landfill found the body of a college student who disappeared more than a month ago, but authorities said Wednesday they don't suspect foul play."

No foul play? That smacks of foul play. I'd like to know how many people have died "naturally" and ended up in the trash WITHOUT the assistance of goons?

Way To Vote, Lil' F-Dub

Today the Fort Wayne Journal-Gazette released the results of its "Best of Fort Wayne" voting campaign. Some of the results:

Best Pizza - Pizza Hut

Best Coffee - Starbucks

Best Breakfast - Bob Evans (which narrowly defeated IHOP)

Best 24-Hour Restaurant - IHOP

I hereby retract any defense I may have presented when Men's Health & Abs & Roofies magazine called us the dumbest city in America. Pizza Hut? Are you fist-fucking me? I'm not that great with numbers, but there are no less than 500 local pizza places ON MY BLOCK, and not one was better than Pizza Hut?

Next year, there will be two major changes to this campaign. The first will be the official name change from "Fort Wayne" to "Stripmallia." The second change will remove all voting and combine all categories into one. Next year's winner for "Best Everything" goes to.....Walmart! Hooray! Always!

I Smell A Match Made In Heaven

If this chick survived, I'd hook her up with the guy who raged and killed his girlfriend with a microwave. They seem compatible

You can have your AX, I'll take my SHOTGUN!

I'll tell you why he built that guitar.......HE LIVES IN COLUMBIA!! Not to mention, this guy qualifies as "bat shit crazy"! Talk about your classic combo, crazy as hell with a shotgun guitar!

Connie Chung Is Going To Kick Some Povich Ass

It was just a matter of time. Geraldo, you're next!

Don't Forget To Try "Hitler's Homicide"

Mmmmm, mmmmm, good

I'd Like To Add This To The Order

Let's kill the person who writes "Cathy" too. Kill two birds / one stone kinda thing

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I've heard about people having big balls. HOWEVER, I've never heard about balls like this.

I'm guessing the last words spoken in the meeting were, "Why the fuck not?"

Something is rotten in the state of Louisiana. (see what I did there?}

DYNOMITE!!!!!!!!!!

CAT FIGHT!

MEOW!

Got an idea, rather than get mad at others for your misfortune, stop jerking it in the men's public bathroom for starters.

Local Hero

So, what does his name tag say "Boob Inspector?"

And for the two fine women that actually let him in the house and proceeded with his "exam," I bet every door 2 door sales person is rushing over to those houses!

Lasted Much Longer Than I Thought

Atomic Punk, take me away!

Hmmm, Kinda Like Her Movie Career

"modest," "flat" and "lackluster"

As for the pict, I know that isn't julie, but it looks like her and that is sad

107th Post! Just Make Sure You Don't Wear The Caucasian After Labor Day

It seems that the first 500 or so orders were sent to a "Jame Gumb."

I can't tell you how surprised I'm not that this is a French idea. Sacre Bleu!

Chebo, Let's Rethink The Purpose of "The Knife Show"

If you think about it, who in their right mind would buy from these jokers, but now it is all too painfully obvious. These guys, while they look/act/talk like ignorant fucks are in fact, international drug smugglers using their 2 hour shows as an elaborate (or not) front to a much bigger operation.

Kudos to the "brains" behind "The Knife Show" You had us all snowed while you made millions...

Homey The Clown

Gilbert Gottfried Isn't Sexy?

Couldn't have gone to a better man. If you think about it, really think about it, you won't be able to come up with one good thing this guy has done.

Not one, no...

Holy Christ! Mission Accomplished

If the goal was aimed at "intimidating pupils and disrupting learning," I say they got an A for effort. Hell, that's bonus material.

Watch out Diprot!

...and GOD said unto thee, "You're out BITCH!"

It's good to see not all of these guys are molesting kids. Looks like this new breed of minister is into games with "balls".

I like the part where the kid knocked his glasses off. I wonder if he yelled, "N E R D S !"

Back at home in Illinois. With my sister.

100th Post!! Who Says The Government Is Slow?

Good thing I applied for my drivers license 35 years before I was born!

Congrats Mrs. / Mr.? Etheridge

Turkey baster stock has just gone up today!

Ohhhh, That's So Damn Hot

Sure, you get to see some genitals, but at what costs. My question to you is this:

Is it worse to look at a sears catalog or little Missy Rottencrotch's diseased snatch? Look at what we have become in this day of the internet. "Clean" pornography is abundant and we still go for the dirty of dirty.

Education or the lack thereof is to blame. I propose a class on logical internet pornography surfing.

Man Do I Love Sandwiches - But Man, Do I Hate Waiting

Sometimes, a man just gets powerful hungry, and he needs a damn sammich.

Besides, his defense/excuse is nothing if not air-tight.

Welcome Diprot!

I would like to take this time and personally welcome Diprot to this great blog of ours. For those that would like to add a few words, please do so. Diprot pictured on the right.

Diprot, who enjoys letting people feel his breasts "for comparison purposes only" will be a fine addition to the team.

Please join me in welcoming this fine addition!

CRUISE CONTROL?

How long until this whacko's head explodes? Chebo, I expect some kind of betting pool.

WTF?

I don't know how I got here, but I couldn't leave. Something is completely wrong with this guy...

RE: It DOESN'T Get Any Better Than This

Why yes it does...


This is a totally valid lawsuit. There was a smear campaign devised by the DEA that has left this gentleman unable to find speaking engagements. It was the internet that destroyed his good reputation. It had NOTHING to do with the fact that he accidentally shot off a weapon in a classroom full of children. For shame DEA, for shame.

SPRINGTIME EASTER SOUL SHAKING SMACKDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Easter

Don't worry, as the story goes, this thing should rise in 3 days.

Congrats Mr. Aunt Ester and Family

It DOESN'T Get Any Better Than This

DoucheBags!

This is worse that lying about a grandparent dying to get a few days off of work/school. Honestly know somebody that did that...

AND IT WASN'T ME CHEBO so don't get all ready to post a silly little comment

Smellivision?

I guess this is a good idea until you watch any Fat Boys videos or the View.

Have At It, Profrink

You totally beat me to the punch on the Real World Denver. That hurt. I had funny things and I was ready to write them down on the information superhighway. Now I have nothing. NOTHING!!!!

I'll play your game, you rogue. This is me shitting where YOU eat. And that's just gross. Sicko. How could you EAT that?

Anywho, enjoy. Are we still on for lacross this weekend? I'll bring the Lee press-ons, you bring the racial tension.

m

Chebo, I'm Not Asking You, I'm Telling You

You must try out. I know you are in the area and what a better way to keep tabs on a good friend than watch you watching TV and getting into racial arguments even though you didn't start them or care how they pan out.

I can see it now. Scene opens to a beautiful day with a bunch of beautiful people talking about what they want to do in the future. A fridge opens in the distance followed by a loud burp. The camera pans to Chebo who is scratching his ass and bitching at his roommates that somebody threw away his Chinese food from last night.

"Why do you always have to label your food, you bigot?" asked a roommate to Chebo. To which Chebo responds "Go fuck yourself and get me some more fucking CHINESE FOOD!"


If it isn't clear enough, I haven't seen the Real World in about 10 years... Sorry

..and that's no BULL!

WHY?

I have a hard enough time with 16-year-old kids playing pro soccer and golf. Granted there are ways to die playing both soccer and golf, however the numbers are so ridiculous, no even talks about it. (Until now)

A nine-year-old bullfighter. Let me repeat that, A NINE YEAR OLD "BULLFIGHTER"! This kid is still trying to figure out what his "wiener" is for and thinks farts are as funny as it gets. (I have to agree with the latter) All that aside, they did make a rule change, just for little Rafita.

...and I quote..."His contests differ slightly from a regular bullfight. The animals are younger and somewhat smaller, and he does not give the matador’s final death blow with his sword. The ban on swordplay isn’t to protect Rafita, but rather the sport’s reputation.

Rafita isn’t strong enough yet to drive a full sword into a bull’s heart, and as a result, “he might just wound the animals, and then they would repeat the thing about (the sport) being a massacre,” said his manager, Jose San Martin, referring to bullfighting protests by animal rights activists."

Naaaa.....I'm pretty sure the animal rights people will forget everything when they see little Rafita just stabbing the younger bulls in the back. It's cute, because he's NINE! I mean this kid is going to get a full sized sword for his 14th birthday. Makes that BMX bike you got look like a toy for a pussy!

If you thought that child actors were messed up adults, just wait. This little sword-wielding maniac is going to be living on the cul-de-sac next to you in Happyasfuckville, USA. It won't be happy for too long. It'll start with drinking too much and making a scene at a backyard function. Then he'll start asking people, "Wanna see my sword?" Trust me, this kid is on a one way train to Shit town.

Let's just hope he takes a horn in the ass as soon as possible. It's the only way this kid will figure out that he should be throwing rocks at cars and not stabbing baby bulls.

Maybe this wouldn't happen if all the cool cartoons weren't drawn for potheads and only shown on cable at 11:00pm on Sunday nights.

Sorry, this ran long and got preachy. This is usually reserved for Profrink..........BURN!

Suck it losers!

tc

Take It From Mr. Mom

He's absolutely right. I mean, these guys haven't done anything good, or memorable, or important in several years. It's almost as if we forgot they existed. All he's saying is that they should spend more money, to, if you will, "clone themselves," and create a virtual "multiplicity" of talent.

I know it doesn't come out in the article, put he totally blames them for that piece of festering dog shit we knew as "White Noise," too. Asshole.

TAKE THAT LIBERALS!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is The Right Brother's version of "We didn't start the fire." Someone should remind them that a shitty song is a shitty song.

Anyway, I can't decide if it sounds like a tampax ad or a Christian rock abstinence anthem...

(You might have to double click this link)

K-Fed Got The Haters Blues

I think this line sums everything up in a nice little package:
"It's like what Vanilla Ice did with 'Ice, Ice Baby,' " Dolby said, "although I think Vanilla Ice is a superstar compared to this guy."

I think "Rocket Fule" has something to do with it!

"I think anytime you have big gaps in between doing something that's like launching shuttles ... or things like that, you are always concerned that you've lost a little bit of your edge," Parsons said.

Can someone tell me what the HELL, "things like that", means?

RAWK!!!!!!!

Just thought this would be a nice addition to Frink's previous post.

Friday Question Of The Day

Say you're a cover band and you really have the sound down, but you're look is WAY off. Do you:
A. Dress as you do normally and save face by playing music close to the original artist?
B. Dress like the original artist because "that completes the package"
C. Dress like the original artist because it is actually better than you dress in real life?

Do your self a favor and watch the video

Kinda Looks Like A Lung!

Woops!

Didn't he once say on this very topic:
"If there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is."

Paco, The Other White Drug

Pretty messed up stuff. Crack, watch your back, there's a new kid in town. Personally, I like what the marketing team did with this. "Crack" is such a negative word, but "Paco" is like a friend down the street. Who doesn't like Paco?

Buh-Bye

Sad thing was that she could sing. I wonder why she didn't win this popularity contest?

Nothing Better Than A Fine Ass

Am I Supposed To Care About Katie Couric Moving To A Different Station?

Why the hell is this all over the news? Why is this the 3rd day of her coverage? What impact does this have to 99.99999999% of all Americans? Am I missing something? Do we not have enough news to fill the day?

OUCH!

Maybe the Patriot Act isn't such a bad thing if it catches scum like this....

Another Sick Fuck In A Sick Administration

Honestly, what more can our government do to put us over the edge? Not saying that all think like this, but, boy howdy, this doesn't help the administration one bit.

I particularly like these comments:

"Many of the conversations with the "victim" were too graphic for public release, the statement said."

And

""There is no question that Doyle believed that he was having these disgusting, obscene discussions, on-line and on the phone, with a young girl," Judd said."

AND

""What stands out to me the most in this particular case was the fact that Brian, on his first conversation with our undercover detective, who he believed to be a 14-year-old girl, clearly identified himself as a deputy press secretary for Homeland Security," Judd told CNN."

Coming Up Next, Apple Will Begin Selling Macs That Are PCs

First they introduce Windows Office for Macs. Then Intel chips sets inside and now they offer to run Windows XP. WTF? But the packaging and commercials are still coo, right?

So for all the Mac Heads out there, do you update your tattoos to include "Intel Inside?"

This Means Something

Sorry guys, this is too important to add a link, and I only have a short time. Tell me this isn't a coincidence:

1. The two biggest collegiate championships were won by Texas and Florida...
2. Tom Delay steps down...
3. Bret Michaels SURVIVES an assassination attempt...
4. Jerry Garcia's toilet goes missing...
5. I totally got a really bad splinter in my left index finger this morning. Ouchie...

Gentleman, it's time to act. Get Eddie to a secure location and meet at the rendezvous point. The password is "toodles." I'm gonna be a little late - I have a conference call and I've already moved it, like, twice. Godspeed, and save me a cookie.

At Least They Are Calling It The Right Name

Sure it's great to have crime free streets, but something bothers me with this scenario. First, the "bad guys" haven't all been caught, they just moved to a different location. So you say, fine, we'll build more cameras until all street corners are covered or send all the crooks to the "poor" neighborhoods. Then you think, hmmmm, but fighting crime is big money in the form of tickets and fines.

Let me know when you get your first spitting, swearing or jay-walking violation when you thought you were alone.

Kinda preachy I know, but I just saw this and had to put the ugly spin on a "good" story