Saint Stephen with a rose, on and off the toliet he goes...

Obsession can be quite a sickness. Although, it would be pretty sweet to have Jerry's pooper throne.

This Changes Everything!!!

So, I can't consider him "grunge" anymore, but more of a "hair metal / corporate music generator"

What can I believe?

I hope that this wasn't you Chebo...

Sure, we'd all like to take him out. But sometimes we have to draw the line between fantasy and reality (kind of like 'what would you do if you won the lottery?')

Smell Ya Later

For those of you that didn't follow this story, this dick is partially responsible for many of the ills America is suffering today. If you want a good laugh, go to his web site and read how he was "protecting us from radical liberals."

The only thing he should be considering protecting is his own ass when he goes to jail.

Hope you make a nice prison bitch and God bless

Perhaps They Should Have Just Moved???

Well, this post is to offset my earlier castration post.

We Have The Hottest Chicks And Guys On The Web

This Is One Group That You Just Want To Leave Alone

If none of the participants have a problem with this and they do it in their own house while not bothering anybody, what's the problem? Frankly, if we didn't allow these dopes to castrate each other, imagine what they may do. Let this sleeping dog sleep.

I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU..........

To watch this WHOLE song (Chebo, I don't think even you can handle it). In the words of the immortal Ralph Wiggum, "tastes like burning."

Quiz Time: What Songs Would You Use And For What Products

Well, it's finally come to this for Mrs. Love. Not saying that I'm surprised, but I thought she could have held out a bit longer before she completely sold out her husband. So my question to you is what songs will they sell for what product lines? A few thoughts?

1. "Bleach" - Clorox
   
2. "All apologies" - Hallmark
3. "Beeswax" - Jim's Country Besswax and Ointments
4. "Dumb" - Hummer
5. Rape Me - "Shell Gas"
6. And soooo many more
   

Show Me On The Doll, SHOW ME ON THE DOLL!

The Catholic Church, come for the donations, stay for the groping.

HATEBEAK!

Always want to spread the word of musical innovation.

And The Cradle Will Rock!!!

"Somebody said, 'Fair warning!' Lord strike that poor boy down."

So Let Me Get This Straight, Promising To God Isn't Foolproof?

You know, I've always had a problem with the fact that when on the stand (in court) you "swear to tell the whole truth so help you God." What if you were an atheist? What if you did in fact not tell the truth? Does God get pissed off at you? But if he is all forgiving, you're in the clear right? Well, I'm sure this is the only instance where someone has lied under oath.

Sorry, a bit bitchy today. HANG THEM ALL!

Not The Avon Lady!

This thing must be a wonder around the kids. May I recommend the name(s):

ScratchAlot?
Don't Call Me Pussy?
Blooders?
Scratch and Bleed?
Mr. Whiskers?

We Gotta Get This Guy

Well, it sounds like this Saddam guy is really a threat to our very existence and should be stopped at all cost. Wait, what? We already did? hmmmmmm? Well, it's still his fault!

And To Think This Guy's Chances of Getting Laid IMPROVED Going To Wal-Mart Vs. Cancun

Some people just have too much time. Even on their break

Community Showers HERE I COME!

And to think that the cop got busted. Mmmmmmmmmmmm, that's good irony.

I still think the "biker" looks like Ben Stiller

Not Going To Comment As I Think The Artist Already Did

I for one will be going to the "opening" of this exhibit. Nothing quite like goin' to a birthin'

The Genius Reflects

AN EXCERPT FROM A RECENT MOVIE WEB INTERVIEW:

"Where did your catch phrase 'Get 'R Done' has been used everywhere; where did that come from?

Larry The Cable Guy: That came from radio; I was signing off and I said Get 'R Done. Believe it or not, I was on a really popular radio station in Tampa Bay and I called in and then I called in the next week; I would always sign off with Get 'R Done. And it was just something I made up on the spot and so I would sign off like that all the time. Well, the next thing you know, there's people saying Get 'R Done from hearing it on the radio. From there, I got syndicated and was doing this in about 20 radio stations across the country and it just caught on; I think it's pretty cool. I was actually in New York City this morning doing some press for the movie and I was pre-taping the Regis show, Regis and Kelly and Denzel Washington was in the room next to me. He walked by me and said 'Larry The Cable Guy - Get 'R Done!' I'm like 'What? That's Denzel Washington!' There's a part in the movie when I try to make a reservation under the name Denzel Washington, trying to get a good table; obviously, I don't look like Denzel Washington."


This is a small portion of the insight that you get from this interview. I didn't realize he didn't look like Denzel Washington. Seriously, that has to be hysterical. It just sounds SO funny!

Typhoon Larry?

Quite possibly one of the nastiest of all typhoons, the Typhoon Larry pictured here has some distinct characteristics:

1. Smells like a cross between Halls Mentho-Lyptus tabs and Pall Malls
2. Liver spot like markings
3. Tendency to only hit locations where Pop Culture is present
4. Big Saggy Balls!

And I Don't Think The Crying Will Help Matters

If it were me (which it wasn't, but could've been) I would rather jump in the crowd and smack an audience member for taking a picture rather than admit that I was having a bad day:
1. You get to stop the show
2. Think of the Press
3. You save face by not crying and admitting you are sucking at the moment
4. You get an escorted exit out of the venue (cops)

Patty, call me next time you get into a bind. I don't think you are considering all your options.

Well, If That's The Case, Consider Me Sentenced To "Life"

Kinda like saying you can't dry your clothes at the laundry mat.

I for one am scared straight and will only go to bars for coffee and scones.

Maybe This Is Why Katrina Happened?

This video is almost enough to make suburban white kids want to pull up their pants and start wearing their hats correctly.

Notice how quickly the lone voice of reason gets his soundbyte cut...

The Ninja community is sleeping good tonight

A story for you....

About 7 years ago, after a long night of poker, I turned on the TV at about 3:30am and found a TV show that would change my life forever. Two guys were selling swords and knifes to John Q. public. Not just pocket knifes, but the biggest and most dangerous knifes I've ever seen. Rambo shops with these guys!

The man in the picture is the incomparable Mr. Tom O'Dell. (why this guy isn't huge is beyond me) If you haven't seen show you owe it to yourself to watch it. It's called Cutlery Corner and it is without a doubt the best show on TV. You will thank me later. If you don't believe me, click on the link and watch the clip.

The truly scary thing is that for seven plus years these guys have been selling knifes on Saturday mornings (1:00am to 4:00am) WHO IN THE HELL BUYS KNIFES AT THAT HOUR?????? At least they aren't selling guns, not that they wouldn't if they could. From watching the clip, it appears they have their hands full with the swords.

Enjoy

tc

And one more Cyclone Larry...........

Now Can We Order Him To Stay Away From Us?

The Germans love you David, stay with them.

And being German myself, I too can't help but remember some of his greatest work:

Well you can still hold my emotions
With just one little kiss
You can shake my world up
Just by being near me like this
If our bodies keep much closer
I don’t know what I’ll do
’cause I’ve been waiting for a lifetime
To be lying next to you

Something in your eyes just burns right through me
Something in your touch I need to know
Oh don’t you know

I wanna move move to the beat of your heart
I wanna rock with you rock with you deep in the dark
I wanna move move to the beat of your heart
Until the night burns night burns down to the ground

Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah

You’ve got to help me ease this pressure
That is building inside
You’ve got to help me feed this hunger
That’s driving me wild
I wanna wrap my arms around you
Feel the heat of the skin
Until the fever takes me under
And the passion takes me in

Something in your eyes just burns right through me
Something in my heart I just can’t fight
All through the night

I wanna move move to the beat of your heart
I wanna rock with you rock with you deep in the dark
I wanna move move to the beat of your heart
Until the night burns night burns down to the ground

Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah

I wanna move move to the beat of your heart
I wanna move move to the beat of your heart
To the beat of your heart
To the beat of your heart

Something in your eyes just burns right through me
Something in my heart I just can’t fight
All through the night

I wanna move move to the beat of your heart
I wanna rock with you rock with you deep in the dark
I wanna move move to the beat of your heart
Until the night burns night burns down to the ground

Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah

I wanna move
I wanna move
I wanna move
I wanna move

I wanna move move to the beat of your heart
I wanna rock with you rock with you deep in the dark
I wanna move move to the beat of your heart
Until the night burns ...

No Ester, You're Way Off

Cyclone Larry:

Cyclone Larry???

Tough Titty!

Sorry kids, no pics of this one, gotta keep it family friendly. I wanna send a shout out to Dianna Chang a Naperville, Illinois native. Mad props babe, you make Momma real proud. I also want to send a shout to my boy Charles Ray Bunch, yo dog - a big yeah yeah for taking advantage of the young and corruptible! I also wanna send a shout out to Liquor, once again proving you can get anybody to do anything when there's another jagar bomb coming. I only hope that there was a camcorder so soon enough people will be sharing the joy across this wonderful wide web.

I'm Sorry, But This Room Is Clearly 67 Degrees. Good Day.

Conspicuously missing from the rider is freshly-squeezed baby's blood. Hmm.

Hey, did you guys hear he shot some dude?

Where in the HELL is that kangaroo?

Just read the first paragraph and try to figure out this mystery.

Come Australia, who do you have working on this case, Jacques Clouseau?

tc

I Think We Missed The True Crime Here

Not saying that the murder of a person is OK, but I think what he is doing to his hair and subjecting to the general public is just as bad.

Wall of Sound meet the Wall of Hair

Good Clean Fun

Two potential quotes from Mr. Culpepper:

"There's no way I could have committed lewd and lascivious acts, because I was clearly gambling illegally, you silly goose."

"This whole sting was a product of crooked cops clinging to crude racial stereotypes. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some CRAPS to shoot."

I Guess This Guy Had Something To Say...

Not really a funny note, but you have to give the guy credit for taking a point as far as he possibly could.

Mmmmm, You Can Really Taste The VD

You may be asking yourself, is that a subtle taste of Chlamydia that I'm tasting? No, no, no, that's um... ummm... I think it's syphilis, yeah, it's syphilis.

I for one can't wait to try some, but do note, I will be drinking out of a rubber cup.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAH

I need a drink

One from the, "Nothing better to do!", file

Look, I know this kid looks funny and really can't sing that well. HOWEVER, what these people are doing will screw his life up FOREVER! They'll turn him into exactly what they hate.

So who is the real victim here? ME, that's who! I don't like this kid and he shouldn't win. I do, however, hate these "should have been killed with a coat hanger" ass-bags that are pulling this stunt, more. That being said, what am I/we to do????? Let's hope it works, let's hope that he wins and let's hope he puts out an album of Engelbert Humperdinck cover tunes that sucks like a twenty dollar crack whore.

Good luck Kevin, I'm pulling for ya' buddy!

tc

Hank's Hanky Panky Not So Swanky (sorry, that was stupid)

Hmmmmm, innocent until proven guilty I know, but why would people be attacking Hank Williams? I think we have a case of a wild Hank on the road and he's hitting the bottle "Eddie Style."

"I am shocked at such allegations," Webster said in a statement. "Hank Jr. has had to defend himself once already in Memphis last Friday from erroneous allegations, and now this."

On Friday Williams held a news conference to dispel rumors started by an anonymous caller on a radio talk show that he had asked for only white personnel to attend to his daughters.

Remember when life was this simple and innocent...

Three random things:

1. Nice "Fuck Off" T-Shirt.
2. Is it legal for a 20 year old to date a 13 year old?
3. How crushed must she have been to find out that Rob Halford would not want her to "jump his bones"?

If You Have a Match.com Account, CANCEL NOW!

Believe it or not, I think she is a very talented comedy writer, but that's where I draw the line

But What About the Dog?

Here is another case where the media/news outlets missed the whole story and used this as another vehicle against the Bush administration.

Sources close to the story have just learned that it was in fact the Dog which will go by the name of "Rex" for security purposes. Apparently Rex had the same powers seen in the "Son of Sam" case back in the 70's. Rex was the mastermind of not only the dog torture, but also all the incidents at Abu Ghraib and Gitmo! "This dog has his paws wet in all of the nasty that is found in Iraq and the war on terrorism." said Dick Cheney. "At times, we couldn't control him, it was like a really bad dog, BAD DOG!" - Condi Rice.

I think we owe a big apology to Rumsfeld and team for the outstanding work they are doing and for god sake, that dog better not walk on my lawn!

Incidentally, the "son of Sam" actually has a website. Looks like he turned himself into a good robot. Where's your Messiah now?

http://www.forgivenforlife.com/

Helloooo Mr. Wilson!

What are you supposed to do when the lil' scamp keeps buggin ya?

I guess someone heard him yell "Cazzata Melenga!" before he fired.

This Is My Formal Request

Ester, we need to see this movie. I am putting together a blue ribbon committee to see that our plans are arranged and proper accommodations are prepared. The question that I have for everyone is this:

Should I read the book first and see the movie or the other way around?

One more thought people, don't worry, Larry's time is almost up. After this movie, I doubt we'll be seeing this guy any time soon. Stay strong!

Please, NO MORE DICK

Dear Andy,

I thought that you would have learned from your appearance in Pauly Shore Is Dead that a one trick pony has one trick only.

I Know Denny's Food Sucks, Isn't This a Tad Extreme

Come for the food, stay for the lead shower.

3 Shootings in a week is almost a GrandSlam!

Gary Glitter Alert

Sorry, I just find this guy to be one of the dumbest people. I think the last thing he would want is another day in court. Remember, he could get the death penalty...

Happy St. Pats Day!

Well, I for one am not Irish, nor care to be. I think the thing that throws me off from wanting to be irish is two fold:

1. Food - You really don't say "boy, I could go for some irish food right now!"

2. Complexion - Too lightly skinned for my needs of being outside. I know I'm stereotyping here, but fuck it, it's our blog.

She Was Practically Beggin' For It

I personally am more than a little impressed that the dude was spry enough at 62 to vault a stockyard fence. You really can accomplish anything if you set your mind to it.

Not So Fast Frink!!!!

She loves GWB, just ask her Dad...

What About Counting Grass Clippings

My question is whether or not you put this on your resume'?

When Jessica Simpson Thinks You're an Idiot...

One must suck quite badly to have Mrs. Braintrust snub you. Maybe it's her new "project" that she is working on: (by the way, I'm not making this up)

"The blond star of the film "The Dukes of Hazzard" still plans to visit Washington on Thursday to lobby members of Congress on behalf of Operation Smile, a non-profit venture offering free plastic surgery for disadvantaged children overseas with facial deformities."

Hide Your Daughters, Fresh Meat In The Market

I can barely get out of bed over this. I'm just sick and tired of the heartbreak... And to such good people!

Be strong people, be strong

Eddie Clears The Air.

And everyone thought he just looked like shit and was standing next to a prostitute...For shame general public, for shame.

Brilliant.

Hammer Time

I have to admit that I didn't believe in the blog...I thought the blog was a waste of space, a silly little page where anybody can say anything about anything. No brains needed. It all seemed like political diatribes, struggling artists and kids talking about nothing. So it was with great trepidation that I accepted my role within "A New Low." I decided to research some more blogs, I was hoping to find some kind of validity, some kind of substance that would change my mind about the blog world.

And then, it hit me like a hammer....

Check out those shots of the Dallas airport! As if that wasn't enough, Mr. Hammer's open letter to Barry Bonds brought a tear to this newbie blogger's eye. Thanks for keeping it real Hammer, and as always thank you for being my guiding light.

Let the games begin.

Whammy!

Peter Tomarken from Press Your Luck fame died yesterday in a plane crash with his wife. Whammy was not available for comment.

Chef, Not You Too!?!?

Chef quits South Park over religious insensitivity. Apparently Isaac Hayes is a Scientologist. I thought this was funny:
"In an interview with Reuters late last year, Hayes talked about a foundation he formed to bring Scientology-based study techniques to disadvantaged inner-city schools, in partnership with fellow devotee Lisa Marie Presley.

Now there's a team with a dream!

Bill Napoli, Rape Aficionado

Asked to decide when it is legal to have an abortion, this Republican state senator from Idaho gave this eloquent info:

BILL NAPOLI: A real-life description to me would be a rape victim, brutally raped, savaged. The girl was a virgin. She was religious. She planned on saving her virginity until she was married. She was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated. I mean, that girl could be so messed up, physically and psychologically, that carrying that child could very well threaten her life.

Doesn't this kind of remark sound creepy? I mean, he had to put some thought into this description. Makes it even more creepy when you think this guy is in charge of our wellbeing. Probably does his 6 hours a day working for the tax payers and then another 12 hours a day working on "snuff" movies.

Good work Idaho, you make us all proud. Jesus loves you more than the other states

Whacking Day, Texas Style

I thought only the Simpsons did something like this, but apparently many other folks in Texas have nothing better todo...

Go get 'em Tigers!