Um, I Forgot What I Wanted To Say...

Where are the Cheetos? And put Cartoon Network on!

Oh, um, good news...

Caption Contest!!!

Um... WTF?!?! Bear looks like it's enjoying the moment

Ha, Ha, Ha, Biff...

Orbitz Travel Tips

For those of you planning some Intergalactic Travel this coming holiday season, don't drink and fly. If you do, here's some good guidelines dependent on your race/kind:

http://www.lawyers.ca/exobac.htm

Live Long & Prosper Bitches!

I Blame Al Qaeda

I read/watched your little dramatization post, Frink, and I think that after these revelations, you may be in for a little dose of something I like to call "humble pie." NOT a la mode. And, after that, it's straight to bed, mister.

What this article fails to reveal is that Rep. Foley was also a victim of Hurricane Katrina, the tsunami, 9/11, 3 or 4 school shootings, the genocide in Darfur, the Titanic, the Bataan Death March, Paris Hilton's hacked cell phone scandal, Teapot Dome, chronic halitosis, the Challenger disaster, the Texas A&M bonfire, the LA Riots, Tienanmen Square, and anorexia. He also has ADD.

I'll leave the Indians alone after this. I promise.

I think the guy running the radio is the one in the thriller video. But he's not the star this time!

Brilliant

Sorry to get political on ya, but these guys deserve some credit for the "dramatization."

For those that aren't aware of Rep. Foley, please look at the front page of ANY newspaper.

Good thing we don't outsource entertainment.

Call me when this guy is dead....

....because that is the next time I'll give a shit.

How does the old saying go, "17 strikes and you're OUT!" News flash, this guy has been out since WHAM! While we're at it, if anyone could work out a way to make sure that Fred Durst is involved in some way, shape or form.....that would be great! Maybe Fred could be giving Geroge some "luvin" in the car, and then George would "finish" and then Fred would get some "luv" in his eye and bumb the wheel and George "kill" them both. Is that possible? Ester, you know some people right?

Help me do this, all we need is.......FAITH!!!!!!!

Whackin' Carl Monday

As funny as it was to see Michael Cooper beating off in a library, I am glad somebody went after this investigative turd.

It's Amazing He Lived As Long As He Did

Shut up and read ladies!

Hi Guys, ScreEEEEEEECH!

I wish this wasn't real, but to see a news story put "Dirty Sanchez" in its article is priceless...

For Chebo -

This shit is HILARIOUS!!!!!

Ipod.....Headphones.......Grocery store, man - that shit is whack! I present a new face, a new mind, a new genius in the world of comedy.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Willie Nelson !!!!

FRINK -

Since you won't listen to me, maybe you will listen to Bea Arthur, Betty White, that southern whore lady and Estelle Getty about the evils of drugs.

Do chickens go to heaven?

Two things were kind of shocking to me when I read this:

1) Where these people are from. I would have figured Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio or West Virginia

2) They were drinking? Come on, you have to be kidding me!

All I'm saying is, that chicken is in a better place now. He would have done it on his own, it's just that his wings weren't set up for pulling triggers.

RIP Chicken

Suspected?

"URUAPAN, Mexico (Reuters) - An armed gang of suspected drug traffickers wearing ski masks threw five human heads onto the dance floor of a bar in western Mexico on Wednesday in an apparent revenge killing, prosecutors said."

I think we can throw out all of the speculation on this one

Um...

Every prostitute ought to know, you never ever take a check. I hope her man gave her a good whipping after that one.

Crikey!

Farwell sweet prince...

New Car or Daddy Walks? Hmmmm...

"I've been waiting on him for about three years," Kienow said. "We'd just talk across the bar he's a really nice guy. I hope he comes back in so I can tell him thank you, because the other day I was kind of dumbfounded."

Kienow, whose father will have to take some time off work for surgery on both of his knees, said she hasn't decided what to do with the money.

"I'd like to take care of my parents, since they always took care of me," she said. "But I feel like he wanted me to buy something for myself, and there's a Jeep that I've had my eye on for a while."

No Comment

Okay, you know your career blows when...

The tag at the bottom says, "Mason has starred on Broadway and in films including "Caddyshack II."

The Jews for Jesus ought to sue him for that atrocity.

Chebo - I ask you which was worse: Caddyshack II or Cannonball Run II?

Now This is Rich!

I think I saw this story on Three's Company once. All a misunderstanding...

Caption Contest

PIER 1 PROJECTS RECORD THIRD QUARTER EARNINGS AMIDST BRISK THRONE SALES TO IMMIGRANTS

Retailer claims coordinating throw rugs and decorative straw bales are major factor in sales success.

An Absolute Comedy Master

He winds you up to think he's a bad impressionist, but at the very end BAM! Watch him knock out the crowd with an impression nobody on television has done before.

A true artist, I tip my hat to you MR. Gallagher.

Call in Old Dan and Little Ann - Tell 'Em They'll Be Workin' Late

Sometimes that raccoon he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a raccoon... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'.

Drugs are Fun!

Caption Contest

Please submit your caption to this picture. If your caption is funny, you might win something. probably not, but do it!

A HA!

So now we know where all the anti American sentiment comes from...It was his angst with Bobby.

The Kids Are Alright

What Ever You Do, Don't Help Those That Need It!

Sleep Tight Kiddies

I think the only thing that kids who have to wear these PJs need protection from is their own parents.

No offense Ester, I know you have some for your daughter...

I Thought the Only Flavors Were "Cherry" and "Penis Butter"

Whatever you do, don't use the 1 twice!

This one of the funnier clips I've seen in a long time.

PS - Happy "belated" Birthday ProFrink !!

Now If He Would Only Drown In It

I've NEVER liked this guy

Update: On My Earlier Post on Terror Alerts

I think these two were framed!

You can tell by looking that these two are NOT GUILTY!

(I think I used to shoot pool with those guys!)

Don't fuck with the D-man

Or his playstation...

First Carmen and Dave...

I don't know how to go on. There is soooo much heartache in the world and when I hear that David Arquette can't make a relationship work, how can any of us?

Godspeed David and Courtney, godspeed

Chebo, I'm Adding To Your Ohio Guy Post

Now this is a party!

"This photo taken and released by the Columbus Police Department, shows the passenger seat side of Maurice Clarett's SUV after Clarett was arrested Wednesday, Aug. 9, 2006 in Columbus, Ohio. Clarett was arrested early Wednesday after a highway chase that ended with police using Mace on the former Ohio State running back and finding four loaded guns in his sport utility vehicle, a police spokesman said. (AP Photo/Columbus Police Department)"

Let's Be Careful Out There

Just want to make sure everybody remains vigilant today and in the coming weeks. This blog has been identified to be at high risk of terrorist activities and at no time, should we let our guard down.

If you feel like blogging today, please practice extreme caution and wear a helmet.

We are only a few months away from a very important election, expect more TERROR!!!

In this case, "Worthless Nut" is true!

I know I'm a Michigan fan and I know what you are thinking, but you are wrong. This kid had it all. He started for the Buckeyes as a freshman and won a national title in one of the great championship games of all time. If he stayed in college ONE more year, he's in the NFL right now. Instead....."…four loaded guns, a bottle of vodka and a HATCHET!" I'm sorry but the hatchet is the clincher for me. I know guys with loaded guns and booze in their cars......NONE OF THEM and I mean NONE, had a hatchet.

LOOK......all I'm saying is this, if this kid had gone to Michigan, he'd be "RICH BITCH"! OSU sucks, always has, always will. This school is starting to make Miami of the 80's look like a catholic school. (Mike, that was for you!)

So I guess I AM just a Michigan fan dumping on OSU at Maurice's expense. OH WELL, look at this way, he has great rap career ahead of him.

And The Results Are In

Based on the entries supplied over the past 7 days, I have to admit that the judging was difficult. There were so many aspects to this complex competition, but only one shall win.

All of the entries did churn the stomach in different ways and I found it hard to find one song over the other.

Since both songs were tied in the end in their suckiness, we had to go with the final category, the piss test. Unfortunately, Chebo tested positive for doping and the award goes to Ester and "Candy Pants!"

Congrats Ester, you deserve it!

Douche Bags...

Sgt. St. James Davis, Reporting For Duty, Sir

I personally disagree with Mr. Anuj Dayal.

There are never, EVER, too many monkeys.

(Just not enough barrels.)

I think trains in the U.S. should increase their monkey/human ratios by 100%.

Here is my entry. (I hope I win!)

MOTLEY CRUE - TEN SECONDS TO LOVE
(what is Tommy doing to Mick?)

[Verse:]
Touch my gun
But don't pull my trigger
Let's make history
In the elevator
Or lock the door
Shine my pistol some more
Here I cum
Just ten seconds more

[Chorus:]

Reach down low
Slide it in real slow
I wanna hear your engine roar
Before I'm in the door

My official submission for Frink's contest: Candy Pants

"Girl, I can imagine that you are oh - so very sweet. I wouldn't even give you a chance to take off your pants. I'd eat the seat. Hey Candy Pants, let's climb the ladder of romance."

Monday Morning Contest

I was going thru some old tapes of mine the other day and I ran across a gem. When I held the tape in my hand, I was instantly taken back 20 years and started remembering the good ol days. It was at that same moment, that I realized that this very tape could possibly have the worst lyric inside.

"I want to put my log in your fireplace."

KISS - "Burn Bitch Burn"
Animalized

That lyric swims in sexual retardation...

Can anyone top that?

Does Anybody See The Irony In This?

I wonder what this guy is asking for during this prayer session? Seems a bit odd to me, but then again, I'm not guided by a religion at the moment so what do I know? Chebo was an alter boy, bet he can help out here.

At any rate, permit me to throw this as an option:

Dear God,

Since I was told by somebody else that you like our religion the best, will you please drop these bombs on the others even though, if you think about it, since you can do no wrong, you did screw up and created some "bad" people. Not saying that you screwed up, because that would be wrong, so I guess we'll say that Satan did it instead. Ah, that's it, they're evil doers.

OK, let's try it again, put hands together and...

Dear God,

Help guide the sacred payload to bomb the shit out of the evil doers in the name of you. Yeah, that makes it much more tolerable for me to sleep at night...

Thanx!

And now we get....

the rest of the story.

Don't Hassle The Hoffe

Coming to you live from the Twin Cities !!

Kiki, Kraigers and Dick Tricks would like to present.....

..THE MAN
..THE MYTH
..THE LEGEND


.........."THE HOFFE" !!!!!

Beyond Thunderdome...

Where's your Messiah now, Mr. Gibson?

Update, Michael Cooper

Ester, just picking up where you left off.

Well, I Never Saw This Coming...

This guy is one ballad away from taking Barry Manilow's spot...

"Are you equating my hair dryer with 9/11?"

Can You Hear Me Now?

It's all over people...

It's a sad day when a fart machine and a little ingenuity can get you 5 months. For shame Great Britain, for shame. Think of our children and what a sad little world it will be growing up without something beautiful, like harassment.

Watch Out Condi Rice, This Guy Has A Plan!

Perhaps I'm A Nerd, But This Is Funny

Here's a Shocker!

What's next? Courtney Love writing a book about substance abuse?

I wonder what he's gonna say...

"Jesus, is like, um, he's really great and all..."

Let's be hopeful...

Maybe he will find his guitar again.

Gentlemen.....a moment of silence.

More Mr T

Notice how he never says that he was going down to New Orleans with a hammer to help...

If You Get A Moment, Please Take The Time To Read This

Something that started out as innocent as decorating and sharing pictures of a new baby's nursery turns into an argument over user posts.

Did I see a death threat?

Good People Of The Week - Just Cause

You see, his heart is larger than his muscles (which is also a muscle, but don't look into this aspect of the post because it could spiral into something you don't want to know about yourself)

Wouldn't It Make More Sense To Use A More Fuel Efficient Car?

If you think about the cause and her stance, the most notorious gas guzzling car isn't the smartest vehicle to use unless she want to continue the "fight."

When will it stop?

Syd Clip...........

Figured we should put up a live clip in his honor. Thanks for the original post Chebo.

Eddie and Chan, Coming To Vegas This Fall

Let's keep our eyes on this guy...

SHINE ON

Also Amazed

This Culture Never Ceases To Amaze Me...

How Does This Help Their Cause?

Seriously, how does this make someone who is skeptical about homosexuality say, "yeah, they got a handle on things, I can see where I can finally bridge the large gap between our sexualities and views."

I have no problems with the parade or homosexuals (look, I don't hold it against you, BURN) but I think this sets them back a few decades.

Good People Of The Week - You Dick!

There has got to be some hidden video on this, if you can find it, post it.

One of Ohio's finest: Mike Cooper

The "money shot" happens right around 1.29.

WTF?

Good People Of The Week - Do You Believe In Second Chances

I for one want to welcome her back into our community. Maybe during the time she served, she has inked thoughts for her next big hit.

Um.....I wish I would have seen this before I used....and before he got caught in that theatre.

Worst Eddie Ever.

We should have seen his demise coming long ago. This is truly embarrassing.

A LONG and HARD Case To Be Handled

Get it?

Worst Excuse Ever

Please Share Your Thoughts... Um, Ah... I Don't Know What To Think

He was TRYING to film a new movie:

Mount Rush More.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen, I'll be here all week!

It may have taken awhile....

But at least Axl finally cleaned his act up!

Garfield Is NOT FUNNY!

Just wanna share this Sunday's clip with ya...

Good People Of The Week

"I have feelings, and hurt--happy, sad, cry, fight--all that, everything. It's no different than nobody else," he said.

AND

"My family is great if that's what you're asking. My family is wonderful, always. Virgin Mobile, baby!"

OUCH!!!

This is from an article from EQ Magazine with engineer Andy Johns:

Johns sits up in his chair when he tells a story about working with Van Halen, with whom he said he got along famously. But at one point, Eddie decided he would mix their live record, Van Halen Live: Right Here Right Now, himself.

“They spent six months. Six months,” he says. “And then, eventually, he broke down. I put it on, and in half an hour it’s starting to sound like something. Now he’s getting pissed off, because it’s not fair. Wow, there it is. And I said, ‘Come on boys, come in and listen.’ So Eddie and Al come in to listen. I go to the kitchen, I come back in, and Eddie’s crying. He’s on the mixer, wah wah wah, and Al’s going, ‘It’s alright, Eddie. He’ll never be able to play guitar like you.’ Ha ha ha! It’s true!”

EVH and.........................Kenny Chesney

This one really stings kids. I thought the bluegrass Roth was bad.

Turning Japanese

The Rube Goldberg device is great, but the real treat is the commentator. I would really like to have Chebo do his best impression of this guy over an infamous video involving a laundry basket, a motorcycle helmet, and some basement stairs.

Hope You All Had A Great Weekend

Connie Chung Loses Her Mind...

Nice work Maury.

Anybody got some tweezers? How about a friggin weedeater?

"Talk To My Ass"

Please, God, Please! Strike this man down...

Somebody Shot Twinkle!

Warning - the above link has been associated with increased levels of "Dang!"
I sincerely wish I was only making this shit up. Not only is it absolutely true, it's on the FRONT PAGE of the Journal-Gazette this morning. Speaking of, this link will probably only be good for a couple of days before they archive it and shake you down for cash.
Okay, see you in another month or so! Hugs! Ciao!

Begin Smiling

Glitter Alert: Hard Time

I think this will be the last sighting of this guy for about 3 years.

Worst Video Ever

I wish Dave would do this.....forever.