Here is my entry. (I hope I win!)

MOTLEY CRUE - TEN SECONDS TO LOVE
(what is Tommy doing to Mick?)

[Verse:]
Touch my gun
But don't pull my trigger
Let's make history
In the elevator
Or lock the door
Shine my pistol some more
Here I cum
Just ten seconds more

[Chorus:]

Reach down low
Slide it in real slow
I wanna hear your engine roar
Before I'm in the door

My official submission for Frink's contest: Candy Pants

"Girl, I can imagine that you are oh - so very sweet. I wouldn't even give you a chance to take off your pants. I'd eat the seat. Hey Candy Pants, let's climb the ladder of romance."

Monday Morning Contest

I was going thru some old tapes of mine the other day and I ran across a gem. When I held the tape in my hand, I was instantly taken back 20 years and started remembering the good ol days. It was at that same moment, that I realized that this very tape could possibly have the worst lyric inside.

"I want to put my log in your fireplace."

KISS - "Burn Bitch Burn"
Animalized

That lyric swims in sexual retardation...

Can anyone top that?

Does Anybody See The Irony In This?

I wonder what this guy is asking for during this prayer session? Seems a bit odd to me, but then again, I'm not guided by a religion at the moment so what do I know? Chebo was an alter boy, bet he can help out here.

At any rate, permit me to throw this as an option:

Dear God,

Since I was told by somebody else that you like our religion the best, will you please drop these bombs on the others even though, if you think about it, since you can do no wrong, you did screw up and created some "bad" people. Not saying that you screwed up, because that would be wrong, so I guess we'll say that Satan did it instead. Ah, that's it, they're evil doers.

OK, let's try it again, put hands together and...

Dear God,

Help guide the sacred payload to bomb the shit out of the evil doers in the name of you. Yeah, that makes it much more tolerable for me to sleep at night...

Thanx!

And now we get....

the rest of the story.

Don't Hassle The Hoffe

Coming to you live from the Twin Cities !!

Kiki, Kraigers and Dick Tricks would like to present.....

..THE MAN
..THE MYTH
..THE LEGEND


.........."THE HOFFE" !!!!!

Beyond Thunderdome...

Where's your Messiah now, Mr. Gibson?

Update, Michael Cooper

Ester, just picking up where you left off.

Well, I Never Saw This Coming...

This guy is one ballad away from taking Barry Manilow's spot...

"Are you equating my hair dryer with 9/11?"

Can You Hear Me Now?

It's all over people...

It's a sad day when a fart machine and a little ingenuity can get you 5 months. For shame Great Britain, for shame. Think of our children and what a sad little world it will be growing up without something beautiful, like harassment.

Watch Out Condi Rice, This Guy Has A Plan!

Perhaps I'm A Nerd, But This Is Funny

Here's a Shocker!

What's next? Courtney Love writing a book about substance abuse?

I wonder what he's gonna say...

"Jesus, is like, um, he's really great and all..."

Let's be hopeful...

Maybe he will find his guitar again.

Gentlemen.....a moment of silence.

More Mr T

Notice how he never says that he was going down to New Orleans with a hammer to help...

If You Get A Moment, Please Take The Time To Read This

Something that started out as innocent as decorating and sharing pictures of a new baby's nursery turns into an argument over user posts.

Did I see a death threat?

Good People Of The Week - Just Cause

You see, his heart is larger than his muscles (which is also a muscle, but don't look into this aspect of the post because it could spiral into something you don't want to know about yourself)